Friday 29 August 2014

In Other News

So I've suspected for some time that my daughter likes to go to work with her new step dad more than she likes to admit. Perhaps out of some unfortunate loyalty to her biological father, she doesn't want anybody to think that she may enjoy spending time with an alternative father figure? (There is a lot of expansion that could be had here, but I'll refrain.)

In support of my suspects, Isabella came out recently saying that when she grows up she wants to be a hairdresser! BUT only until she is a teenager, then she wants to be a rancher." Internally I was patting myself on the back for being so intuitive and wise in reading my daughter. Externally, I smiled and asked questions about both drastically different career choices. I encouraged her to ask my partner to go to work with him more often. I think she may, but she may also be hesitant because that would mean that she enjoys spending time with him, which I believe she perceives as a betrayl. Hopefully with some support, and nurturing, and reassurance we can ease her out of that mentality.

Isabella has always been into horses, as most little girls inexplicably are, so one of the major appeals of moving here was that she would be surrounded by horses day and night and would hopefully be able to learn to ride. It's been a little difficult because of time restraints and serious lack of child-friendly equine available, but she has been able to go a few times, both just short recreational rides, and also work-related rides chasing cows. She loved chasing cows! She was over the moon excited about that, and now weeks later, still talks about how she wants to go again. Who knows! Maybe she will be a cowgirl when she grows up.


In other news, we recently discovered that one of the chickens we purchased a couple months ago is actually a rooster... And apparently he is going through poultry puberty, ie. he is learning to crow. Problem is he doesn't quite have the internal clock thing down, and therefore he crows at all hours of the day. This wouldn't be so bad except that he and his harem live just under our bedroom window. Needless to say he is not going to live long. I hear fresh-killed chicken tastes nothing like store bought chicken. I''m sure the taste of revenge will only sweeten it.

Partner #1 is gone again, this time only south for a few days, but that leaves us walking his dogs again. It's not so bad this time around. This time he took several with him, so we are down 4 dogs. The other night I learned walking cow dogs in the horse pasture after a few drinks is probably not the best idea... Lets say we discovered which of the dogs are ankle bitters, and one of the horses looks like he has leprosy.... interpret that how you will.

A cow and a bull who had both injured themselves early in the spring have found a hole in the fence where they were previously quarantined and are now in the field where we store our big round hay bales. This wouldn't be such a big deal if a) they had been handled at all over the last few months. As it is they figure they are wild cows now, and therefore kinda a-holes. And b) if partner #1 were here, we wouldn't be left trying to herd these two "wild a-holes" out of the bush with sticks, and a dog who has no idea what she it is we are asking her to do (And c) if I wasn't scared of cows....). In the process of all this partner #2 managed to get a rusty nail through the foot and two legs covered in stinging nettle. (In her words, "Who chases a bull in a skirt?!") As it stands, they will just have to stay there for a couple more days and wait until the boss man gets home. There shall be retribution!

Partner #1 moved our one horse Lewis to another pasture, which happened to be located right next to a small field where our resident studs reside. Lewis is boss horse, of all the horses, apparently, and the studs, Ese in particular, have felt the need to engage in some egregious posturing. It's provided quite a bit of entertainment for me. I've come to realize that horses who are playing tough guy, are just like dogs playing tough guy! They puff and snort at each other, pee all over the place, and bite each other. It's rather funny. Especially because Lewis doesn't seem to care one whit, he just nonchalantly strolls past, gets the studs riled up, and then walks away! He's so full of himself.

More things I've learned since moving to the ranch:
9) Seasonal allergies are not restricted to spring time!
10) Falls starts mid summer when you live up north.
11) "Cabin fever" is not just a concept for a horror movie. It's an actual, real thing!







Saturday 16 August 2014

The Shanty of Death!

So my partner's latest project has been to get the irrigation on our leased ranch working. This time last year it wasn't such a big deal, since we shipped all of our animals off the place. This year however, since we've chosen to stay here, it is obviously imperative that our animals have food so that they too, may one day follow in the foot steps of the livestock before them.... straight to the auction yard.

Anyhow, since we have a chunk of our herd down in Merrit at the moment, Partner spends a fair bit of time traveling back and forth checking on things down south. So he feels one of us needs to be able to handle things should the irrigation go postal and commit suicide while he is away. Circumstances surrounding the day he decided this, meant that I was the chosen one. I am the one he bequeaths the knowledge of the temperamental, finicky, (and might I mention, rather expensive!) irrigation system to. Really?! Me?! Did you not read the last blog post, Hun?

I honestly would like to understand, but like I said in my previous post, there are just somethings surrounding this ranch that I have given up trying to understand the inner workings of. I will in time, I'm sure, be adding the irrigation system to that list.

Step #1: A tour of the pipes and wheel thingys with the sprinklers on em.

If you did not know, grasshoppers enjoy dry grass. Imagine cruising through a couple hundred acres of dry grass with the windows open, because its hotter than Satan's toilette and this rust bucket ain't got no air conditioning, and thousands upon thousands of grasshoppers jumping to save their lives. Jumping in the windows and pelting you, and grasping on to your clothes with their sharp little pincers, and literally obstructing your view through the windshield, all so that you can go stand in the heat along side said grasshoppers and discuss why the water works some of the time.

Step #2: The pump house.

I can handle grasshoppers. In fact my little brother and I as kids used to collect buckets of them to see who could find the biggest one. Spiders on the other hand are a whole different story. Picture a hermit, living in a swamp. Picture what his shanty would look like, and you may have an idea of what the pump house here looks like. Its dark. Its moist because the pump leaks. It musty. And worst of all its crawling with spiders. Needless to say, I was not polite when I realized that partner was asking me to actually enter this torture chamber. I didn't, by the way. I learned everything I could by staying safely outside of the shanty, and nervously sweeping any twig, or stray hair, or dust mote, that landed on my persons.

When the pump stops working, apparently you need to "prime it"? This involves taking a wrench that could brain a a baby seal and unscrewing a giant bolt not too much!, but not too little! while simultaneously opening the shaky valve. Again, not too much! Because if you screw it right off, water will spew everywhere and, in a nut shell, you will ruin everything. Said valve by the way is shaky, as I said, so while water is running through it, it likes to vibrate its way shut again.... So step 1 is always check if that's the initial problem.

Some where towards the end of the multitude of steps (can you tell how closely I was listening?), once the pump is primed, you have to hit the power switch and start the pump up all over again. My partners advice? "This is a job you ONLY do with ONE hand. That way the electricity doesn't have a chance to travel across your chest". Ha haha ha? Oh your serious. Remember the moistness? The leaky pump in a small space? Pump house = death. On the plus side, if I did manage to electrocute myself, I'd probably take the whole works of spiders with me!

Step #3: Promptly forget everything.

Now, I really did try to listen and had you asked me 10 minutes afterwards how to do it, I probably could have regurgitated it back to you, but now? Likely, not. I honestly don't understand why he asks me to do these things? I guess he knows me well enough to never, ever (ever!) tell me I can't do something. He knows that I would go all defensive hell beast if he ever tried. I may tell you I can't do something, but don't you ever try to tell me I can't do it. He knows me so well, awe (Where's the cutesy heart emoticon on this thing?).



Moral of this story: If you electrocute yourself in a hermit's shanty, spiders will likely feast on your corpse....

Thursday 14 August 2014

What happened? I used to be intelligent!

I am used to feeling smart. (I know its sad, but) I'm used to thinking that I'm the intelligent one in the room. It's a mentality that I intentionally carefully cultivated after years of being cripplingly self conscious. Once I branched out on my own, with a new baby, I went back to school and discovered that "Hey, I'm not so useless after all!". I got really good grades and caught on to things quickly and found that I actually really enjoy learning. Then as I ventured out into the work force, I climbed ladders quickly and always did the best in my position. Evidently, during this transitional phase in my life, I really let it get to my head.

Since moving to the ranch, I've discovered that I. know. Nothing.

I severely underestimated the amount of all-around knowledge running a ranch requires. I figured, like I said in a previous blog post, don't you just throw some food at cows and they grow into tasty burgers or something? It is so much more intensive than what I had previously assumed.

Examples of things I've given up trying to wrap my oh-so-superior brain around:
  •  The geneology of cow dogs,
  • Why no body wants to buy this breed of cow, but we're going to do it and somehow it will make us money? 
  • The different avenues of income a ranch as complex as ours has,
  • Government range leases,
  • The subtle nuances of cattle body language (actually, I'm still working on this one)
  • How dropping six figures on various ranch related necessities is perfectly normal?!
  • How the seemingly unrelated happenings overseas effect hay prices in our little blip on the map
  • Why sheep like to die?!
  • The Cattlemens Association and all its confusing programs,
  • Why the price of cows can change drastically from one day to another.
I'm sure there are much more, but apparently I have pushed them from my brain in an attempt to maintain some shred of the belief that I am still smart.

It's been a humbling experience. I've learned there are different kinds of smart. Like there is "street smart" and "book smart". I am definately not "ranch smart".

Sunday 10 August 2014

Summer Bucket List 2014!

Early this spring,  my lovely partner came up with the idea of a "Summer Bucket List" and even took the time to construct a bulletin board for us to display in our dinning area.
(Ignore the fly tape. I know its disgusting. If you didn't notice it, forget I said anything)

Last year (before I lived here), the family packed up and moved the family and all the animals back down to our ranch in Merritt to summer there, so there wasn't a lot of time to enjoy the things that Quesnel and Williams lake areas had to offer. This summer, we decided to keep the family here and therefore we get to enjoy summer in the Caribou!

Our list includes some more specific things, like: Go to the rodeo, partake in summer reading club, see Quesnel Air Festival. While others were totally open ended, like: Have root beer floats, play in the creek, have a water fight, eat dinner outside, etc.

Thus far we have:
- Picked Saskatoon berries,
- Played in the sprinklers,
- Walked the Quesnel foot bridge


- Slip and slides (the kids have acquired 3 in the last couple months)
 
This gem

- Williams lake Rodeo
- Visit the Quesnel museum

Swimming at 10 Mile beach
 
- Ten mile park
- Plant a vegetable garden
- Homemade popsicles
- Waters guns
- Grilled a pizza on the BBQ
- Have root beer floats (twice)

Top of the ferris wheel during Billy Barker Days

- Billy barker days

Williams Lake river trail


- Quesnel river walk
- Water park
- Watch a parade


- Go to the bike park


- Watch a movie in the park (Dad took ALL 4 kids to this one by himself. He is a braver person than I am. Mind you we made him do it while we lined up a surprise for him here.... Which may be material for a future post..... Ooooo suspense!)

Looking at the list I am feeling quite accomplished, despite all this being the partners brain child.

Wednesday 6 August 2014

My new BFF has 4 legs

So I stole a horse, sort of. More like he chose me to steal him... My partner doesn't really know yet that I've stolen him but I named him therefore he is mine! His name is Asher, and he's beautiful, and he's mine!

My knowledge of horses, I've come to realize, is slim to none. I used to work at the barn at a kids camp during my teenage years in which I was around them all day. But whereas those horses were very old, very sad, very tired, and very safe for a group of 30 screaming children, the horses we have on this ranch are work horses. They need to be aggressive, they need to be high energy. He is 1 of about 30 horses we have here who, for the most part, are totally green and unbroke. Like cow dogs, cow horses s-u-c-k (with the exception of Asher, of course). In the words of my always cryptic partner "Most of them don't have names, and those who do, it's not for good reasons....". So like an intelligent, optimistic newbie, I've decided that I'm going to start this horse, Asher and magically make him ride-able in the distant future with a little TLC and trust exercises. Right? That's how you do it?

My partner seems to find this infinitely amusing. Which makes me want to kick him in the shins. But I have been persisting and have seemed to be making progress! Before, I couldn't even get near him and now he will let me pet him within reason, and walk around him. I've gotten him to eat out of my hand, now. Early this spring I tried to give him a carrot and he wouldn't even eat it after I threw it at him.... He's a highly suspicious individual, my new bestie. Occasionally he likes to lift his head up and show his teeth and do this weird wheezy thing... I don't think he's threatening me... I like to think he's smiling, really, really big. I think if he were trying to scare me with his giant chompers, he would have chomped me by now. I hope.

So, I'm making progress and my partner can go suck a lemon! Next I'm going to try taking a lead rope out with me and just, I don't know, introducing it to him. Show him it's not going to kill him if I wrap it around his neck. I shared this plan with partner and (after laughing) he said he'd help me go retrieve my rope afterwards. Oh ye of little faith.

 
There's that handsome devil



More things I've learned since moving to the ranch:
8) If women realized the kind of sh** (literally) that REAL cowboys get into, they wouldn't find them nearly as attractive...