If you are or ever were the parent of a 2-year-old, you may have laughed at that and now we have bonded.
Currently my lovely 2-year-old daughter is sitting high and mighty in her high chair dictating orders while waving her fork around like a royal scepter. God help you, if you don't understand with "LHFNAOHFA" means! I think it loosely translates to "Off with their heads!!".
Toddler Dictionary
TadOO: Towel.
FuUk: Frog.
ShaDaDO: Shut the door.
Mine: Boobs.
CaOO: Cows or Cal.
TradOO: Tractor
SYE: Silas or Outside.
Nani: Natalie :)
Pada: Ipad
ShaUHH!: Shut up (Reserved for the dogs only)
It is a little early for lunch right now. The reason she is on her throne is because she cannot, under any circumstances, refrain from terrorizing her other siblings who are trying to learn. At least in her high chair she is contained, although I fear not for long... And this way I can continually throw tidbits of food at her from a safe distance. Today, while making her food (!) she came up behind me and raked her nails down the backs of my bare legs!! This is one of the first days since spring started making an appearance, that I have braved bare legs, and then she goes and does that. Serves you right for not wearing tights, silly woman!
If the day is a bust and all else fails, you can always give her free range of the bathroom sink. She has a towel bar she hooks her legs in and sits on and a hand washing song she sings, so she is content for a long long time just washing her hands over and over. You just have to be okay with soaking wet mess. This is a last resort type option.
We have also discovered that she is terrified of ice and cars. Ice because she doesn't have the dexterity to stay upright and that is super frustrating, even if you are half a foot from the ground and have a cushion literally attached to your rear end. And cars because she hasn't quite figured out that they are not actually big steel monsters looking to run her over no matter where she is walking. She is totally safe if she is up off the ground though... Cars wouldn't dare attack her if she is in her stroller/moms arms/shopping cart/etc. Rather convenient, I say, if you don't feel like walking.....
Whats frustrating is that, for a toddler, she is actually a really good kid. I think the isolation and lack of exposure to other 2-year-olds (with good reason!) has caused me to lose perspective. Many many toddlers are horrendous! And it's not their fault! It's just the way toddlers are - all ID with no Ego or Superego to help counter balance themselves. They don't understand why they can't have everything and anything they want, when they want it, which is usually Right-Freaking-Now!
She understand rules and boundaries. She may not understand why she can't have everything, she just knows she is not allowed to. She needs to be reminded of that fact frequently and sternly. It is really funny when she thinks she is getting away with something. You should see how high she jumps when she gets caught! And then when she is on the pout, its a complete cliche - she pushes out her bottom lip, get the big crocodile tears going, chin to her chest. Its hard to be upset with her sometimes. But when your are about to lose it, there are at least 2 other adults who can step in. I think the fact that our little monster has 3 parents has a lot to do with her pretty awesome personality.
I feel, like many things in the last year and a bit, that I am able to appreciate this stage in my kids life much more then I have in the past.. With all of them, I am much more calm, and I have a much better understand of the different stages they are in. Although sometimes it really doesn't seem like it.
Things I have learned since moving to the ranch:
18) Cows are far more athletic and agile than one would think.
19) Every once in a while, you are going to get covered in Poo....Deal with it.
20) You have to be okay with death. Tip to self, don't name the animals...
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